My name is...........

"My name is (DasLoot) I am a compulsive gambler, I've had a good day today because I havnt had a bet"

Those are the words any complusive gambler who has admitted his 'addiction' will recognise only too well. We have all seen TV documentries and films where the alcoholic and drug addicts gather round group meetings and make similar introductions. They are among friends in a self help group and they openly admit their personality disorder and seek assurance from their peers that they are doing all the can to deal with it. Gamblers Anomymous or GA follows almost the exact 12 step plan advocated by AA and is there to offer help to anyone who need it with their gambling addiction. The only requirement from GA is a desire to stop gambling.

Just over five years ago my relationship with my then girlfriend finished as a direct result of my gambling addiction although at the time I wouldnt admit it. The apartment was in her name and I was forced to move out. At that time I had just gambled away the rest of my wages and had no money and nowhere to go, so I found myself with all my wordly belongings living out of my car. A few weeks later the beginning of December 2002 I had just been paid and once again quickly blown my wages on the horses and greyhounds, so come the end of the first week I found myself with only £19 in the bank, virtually penniless and homeless. It was then and only then that I realised I had a problem and needed help. I threw myself on the mercy of my bank, not divulging my addiction but making up another story and unbelievably they came through for me giving me an overdraft which provided a few pounds and more importantly the money to get my kids Christmas presents. I then turned to GA and quickly found solace amongst my fellow gamblers, all of whom had been or where in the same position I was now in. A few weeks later with the help a some friends I found a flat to rent and set about rebuilding my life.

Although that was a low point and the point that spurned me on to admit I had a problem and seek help, looking back it was not the lowest point that gambling drove me to.

Four months prior to that my mother died. On the day of the funeral I left the apartment early and on route the crematorium stopped off at the bookies. I done a few bets on the horses and dogs and soon lost all track of time. I then realised I was late and rushed to the crematorium only to arrive too late to help my family carry my mothers coffin into the service. I walked in half way through the first hymm much to the dismay of my family. Four days later I collected the urn containing my mothers ashes from the undertakers and proceeded to the Church graveyard for the burial of the ashes beside those of my father. Needless to say I arrived late for that too, but at least on that occasion they couldnt start without me, I did after all have the urn !

At the time those two incidents didnt really affect me, despite being late for the two sevices I could still reach down into my pockets and pull out a load of bookies dockets, some winners but mostly beaten dockets and thats all that mattered at that time. Looking back now I realise that was my lowest point. My gambling at that time took the form of bettin on horses, dogs, football, formula 1 or two rain drops racing down a window pain, just about anything really, except poker!

So now several years on am I cured? Well no, as with any addiction, alcoholism etc, I must live with it for the rest of my life. I can however say that I honestly cannot remember the last time I went into a bookies to make a bet, nor have I any desire to do so.

I can however remember the last time I sat down by the computer and gambled playing poker !

My name is (DasLoot) I am a compulsive gambler, have I had a good day ?